You may hear people say that parents should avoid divorce. Their basic perspective is that because divorce is hard on children, perhaps leading to emotional outbursts, a decline in academic achievement or other things of this nature it is always best to stay together for the sake of one’s kids.
But is this belief rooted in the reality of modern families? Many experts believe that it is not. This doesn’t mean there aren’t downsides to divorce, but there is simply a great deal of evidence which illustrates that staying together for the children – in certain situations – could actually be worse for them than getting divorced.
A stressful home life
Essentially, when children are trapped in a stressful home life due to their parents’ relationship issues, that can be more difficult for them than if their parents ended their marriage. Perhaps their parents have a very strained relationship, they are always arguing and the relationship is very volatile. This can create a lot of daily stress for children, and it certainly doesn’t give them any sense of stability and security just because their parents are married.
In a situation like this, parents may also struggle to take care of their children because they are so consumed with the problems in their own relationship. They may find that getting divorced gives them the time to focus on being a better parent, and it reduces their own stress levels so they can give their children more attention. This may be better for the children’s development than if their parents were still together.
Of course, there are also cases where violence is an issue within the home. In any situation where there is evidence of abuse, it is not better for the children when parents stay together. Their safety – and the safety of whichever parent is being abused – has to become the most important factor – and that may be best facilitated by divorce.
Every situation is unique
At the end of the day, nothing is as black-and-white as saying parents should definitely stay together for their children. All situations involve a lot of nuances that need to be considered carefully. Parents who find themselves considering divorce need to think about the legal options they have and the steps that they can take to put their children first so that if divorce is the best way forward, they’re as prepared to navigate the process as successfully as possible.